Post the Twenty-First

I was REALLY blessed by today's Living Life devotion.

Ironically, I haven't really supported Living Life because I've often dismissed it as a Bible-reading "crutch", with its oversimplified Biblical analyses and its over-drawn applications. You can't forget the cheesier than my dad's 7-cheese macaroni ending prayer called "A Letter to God", either.

STILL YET, something compelled me to click the link that's conveniently provided by the All Nations Church College Group website, ANC College Group Website

The link to the Devotion I'd like to talk about is here, as well.
2 Chronicles 33:10~25

One thing God has really been opening my eyes to is "inner-healing". Now, I'll define what inner healing is according to my father's 200-page dissertation I have here on my desk next to me at this moment:

"A ministry in the power of the Holy Spirit aimed at bringing healing to the whole person" (Kang 5)

Here's the background:
I began harboring deep unforgiveness ever since something of my former boyfriend's past was brought to the light. It's irrelevant to discuss specifics, but the underlying issue is that I existed as a pathetic, hurting, bitter creature for quite some time. I needed release from this judgment I pressed not only on him, but on my family, my friends, my colleagues. I needed healing.

Here's where the Living Life devotion comes in...

"People show mercy only when it is warranted or earned, and even then not every time.
Manasseh was without question one of the most wicked kings of Judah. He corrupted an entire generation so thoroughly that even when he tried to make reforms, people were stuck in their wicked ways (v. 17)."

I learned only briefly about King Manasseh's transformation in my Old Testament Survey class my Freshman year at Biola. He was an evil king that made laws for people to worship God, but he turned from his evil ways, sought forgiveness from God, and GOD HEARD HIM. From that point on, King Manasseh sought to undo evil to make the glory of God known.

What a loving smack in the face by God himself!!!!!! He forgave Manasseh, God can forgive ME. Who am I to play with my cards so that only certain people in my life receive the forgiveness I exhibit only with earned, merited favor? I'm pathetic. God's love is never-ending, boundless, limitless, powerful, redemptive, life-saving, perfect, graceful, captivating, everything we could ever hope for or even imagine...and there I was...

There I was, xhibiting the symptoms of serious ailment, sulking in depression, delighting in other's failures, beaming with bitterness, all because of my own inability to perceive how wide and encapsulating the grace of GOD is to cover ALL.

Well, my point in this post is not to justify Living Life as the "end-all-be-all survivor guide/ the minimum you can do for God to release favor upon you". It's rather to discuss the power of God's word in this book to supplement HIS divine hands working in my life. It started with my dad counseling me last night when I was hanging out in his room. He literally asked God to release all bound emotions, all bound memories, and to return it back. He asked for healing, that I would find complete fulfillment and satisfaction in Christ alone, and that I would be heart-healthy. My dad was asking so easily that I almost thought he didn't HEAR or UNDERSTAND what I was telling him. But I was wrong. My dad was praying because he knew the truth that God listened, and that God heals.

"The LORD spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they paid no attention.
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So the LORD brought against them the army commanders of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh prisoner, put a hook in his nose, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon.
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In his distress he sought the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers.
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And when he prayed to him, the LORD was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD is God. "

THE LORD HEARD MANASSEH! He hears me.

I'm tired so I've really got to stop writing soon..but I just want to end this post claiming that I'm encouraged, and that I'm walking with hope that God is healing me every single day, and depending and trusting on God to heal me and release me is the best thing I've done for myself in the past couple days. I can't even explain it.

Goodnight. Sorry if this is all jumbled and doesn't make sense.